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How to deal with divorce advice during the holidays

If people find out that you are going through a divorce during the holidays (or at least contemplating one) chances are that they will want to know how you are doing emotionally. Chances are that they will also give you some advice…whether you asked for it or not. Indeed, divorce and relationship advice can be helpful, especially if the person is in such an emotional state that they cannot function normally.

However, a great deal of advice is based on one’s experiences and emotional connection to them, so the advice emanating from it may not be so helpful. Nevertheless, if you are getting unsolicited advice about your divorce, this post will provide several tips to help you deal with it.

You are in control – While people are apt to give you advice, only you have the power to allow them to influence you. This means that you can decide to listen to people or you can immediately tell them to take their advice elsewhere.

Separate truth from fiction – As we said before, the substance of many people’s advice is based on individual experiences and how the law has applied in their unique circumstances. Because of this, it is important to put what happened to them into context and learn how the law may apply to you.

Talk to an attorney – An experienced family law attorney can help you separate the emotional advice from true guidance that can make a difference in your case. A lawyer can also help confront your fears about the process created by bad pieces of advice.

Source:,” How to deal with unwanted divorce advice,” Bob Tomes & Jane Warren, November 2, 2013